A big hug

I’ve been struggling on whether to include this in my blog, but this is a really tough time for me and Brian and I’d always wanted to ensure I captured all my thoughts and feelings, and this has had such an impact on us that I felt I needed to include it.

I headed back to the UK recently as my mum has been seriously unwell in hospital, and I was finding not being close to her very difficult. My dad was staying with my brother Jon until Mum came home, so it would be okay for me to complete my ten day self-isolation at mum and dad’s house before going to see Mum in hospital. I travelled to Kent by train and Eurostar, where I then picked up a car, that my friend Sharon has very kindly lent me for my visit, and drove to Norfolk. The trip was stressful in itself, but layered with having to provide additional documentation and signed declarations it was very challenging (many were turned back), and I was so glad to arrive safely late Friday evening, in very dense fog. Once in Norfolk I planned to complete my ‘test and release’ so I could go into hospital to be with Mum.

In France, Brian and I had both been keeping busy with the house, and I’d been calling Mum daily in the hospital to speak with her and keep her updated with what we were doing. At home she loved reading our blogs, and her and dad would sit and look at the photographs and chat about our adventures. Mum was kept in hospital longer than we all expected, and as time went on she had good days and bad days, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to get through to speak with her. It became clear that she wasn’t getting better, so I made the decision to return to the UK. Unfortunately though the delay in me leaving France, due to the additional paperwork, tests and checks, and the need to quarantine once I reached the UK, I was not able to see Mum, or get to hold her hand one last time, before she passed away.

I knew living in France, away from our parents, was never going to be easy, but we had always had a plan to travel back every few months to visit Brian’s mum and my parents. We never could have imagined how a global pandemic was going to change that plan. Both my parents and Hilda, Brian’s mum, had all totally supported us in our decision to move to France, and were so happy and delighted for us to be making such a change and commitment.

Here I am now, back in Norfolk, in mum and dads cottage. I thought being in their home on my own at such a time would prove to be really quite difficult for me, but it’s like having a big hug – mum’s warmth and laughter is everywhere. Yes, I have my moments, and I miss her terribly, but I think ‘What would Mum do if she was feeling low?’, and I look out of the window at the winter bulbs she had planted and see them with their pretty little, purple flowers coming into bloom. It makes me smile and I feel calm again, and feel the warmth of her touch.

I am going off to Jon’s to bring Dad home today. I’m looking forward to spending some time with him.

Whilst I’m in the UK, with Brian’s support on content, we will still be doing the blogs. We were thinking, with me being away, it may be a good time to research some of the places we want to visit, once this crazy world gets back to some normality, and I make it back to France. We also love getting your feedback and comments, so hope you continue to follow us, and share in our French experience.